A Note on Reconnecting with Yourself During Motherhood

Written by: Thrishala Gunathunga

Photo by DisobeyArt on iStock

Being a mother is an amazing journey full of joy, laughter, and countless memorable moments. From the excitement of holding your newborn for the first time in your arms to many diaper changes, first words, and years of schooling, each of these phases shows how great the mother-child bond can be!

However, with all of the pleasures and responsibilities that come with being a mother and caring for a family, it is easy to lose connection with yourself.

Therefore, as we celebrate Mother’s Day on May 12, 2024, why not acknowledge the value of reconnecting with yourself during motherhood?

Here are some strategies on how to reconnect with yourself during motherhood:

1. Engage in self-care

All mothers should engage in self-care! Whether it’s reading your favourite book, practising yoga, mindfulness, or having a long hot shower, engaging in things that refresh you is important, even if it’s only for 15-20 minutes every day. You can also try journaling for 15 minutes every day to gain insight into your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, and reconnect with your inner self.

2. Get back to your old passions

We all have passions that we forget about because of our rushed lifestyles, and this is especially true for mothers. Mothers focus on the needs of their families first and dedicate themselves to fulfilling their children’s dreams while neglecting their own. So, try to go back to your old passions – whether it’s dancing, singing, gardening, learning a new language, or anything else, find time for it at least once a week.

3. Draw some boundaries

It is acceptable to say no to additional commitments that may reduce your mental and physical energy. And, while it is okay to care for your children’s every need while they are very young, it is also important that they establish independence as early as possible so that they can carry out at least half of their given tasks. You may feel guilty at first for drawing some boundaries, but it is also good to not cater to the needs of your family members around the clock. It will then give you the necessary time to protect your overall well-being.

4. Bond with the community

Sometimes, as a mother with so many responsibilities, you will feel alone. One of the best things you can do is bond with the community, such as by joining a moms’ support group or an online community for moms that can be found on Facebook or Instagram. It will create a feeling of being related to, and remind you that you are not alone on this journey of motherhood. Not only that, you will also be able to share your lived experiences as a mother while gaining valuable insights from other mothers, particularly on how they navigated life’s challenges with effective coping techniques.

5. Ask for help from family and friends

When you need help, don’t be scared to ask for it from family and friends; it’s not a sign of weakness. We all become overloaded with various tasks in life, especially as mothers, therefore it is perfectly acceptable. So, make sure that you ask for the help of your partner, other family members, or friends so that you can relieve some of your duties and take some time for yourself.

6. Know that you won’t be perfect

Above all, let go of the idea that you have to be the perfect mother. This is because such thoughts can cause extra stress for yourself. Instead, accept yourself as you are, and work towards improving any shortcomings you may have. What is more important is to be attentive to your parenting strategies and to cherish those precious times with your children whenever possible.

Concluding thoughts…

Now you understand that motherhood is a new experience that can have an impact on one’s identity, particularly for first-time mothers. And while being selfless is great, it’s important to remember that connecting with yourself during motherhood isn’t selfish – it’s beneficial to both you and your child.

For example, taking time to care for yourself means you will be able to better manage the mental, emotional, and physical demands of motherhood while also being more attentive to your children’s needs. In this way, you can teach your children healthy coping mechanisms to manage the challenges that come their way. After all, children usually learn by observing others!

Furthermore, when children see their mothers valuing their own interests, they learn about the importance of self-worth. Therefore, they will understand that it is possible to go after what they love and connect with their inner self while also fulfilling their responsibilities.

So, let us embrace the exciting journey of motherhood by reconnecting with ourselves a little more and creating a balance between caring for our children – both on Mother’s Day and every day thereafter!