Written by: Thrishala Gunathunga

Photo by DisobeyArt on iStock

Being a mother is an amazing journey full of joy, laughter, and countless memorable moments. From the excitement of holding your newborn for the first time in your arms to many diaper changes, first words, and years of schooling, each of these phases shows how great the mother-child bond can be!

However, with all of the pleasures and responsibilities that come with being a mother and caring for a family, it is easy to lose connection with yourself.

Therefore, as we celebrate Mother’s Day on May 12, 2024, why not acknowledge the value of reconnecting with yourself during motherhood?

Here are some strategies on how to reconnect with yourself during motherhood:

1. Engage in self-care

All mothers should engage in self-care! Whether it’s reading your favourite book, practising yoga, mindfulness, or having a long hot shower, engaging in things that refresh you is important, even if it’s only for 15-20 minutes every day. You can also try journaling for 15 minutes every day to gain insight into your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, and reconnect with your inner self.

2. Get back to your old passions

We all have passions that we forget about because of our rushed lifestyles, and this is especially true for mothers. Mothers focus on the needs of their families first and dedicate themselves to fulfilling their children’s dreams while neglecting their own. So, try to go back to your old passions – whether it’s dancing, singing, gardening, learning a new language, or anything else, find time for it at least once a week.

3. Draw some boundaries

It is acceptable to say no to additional commitments that may reduce your mental and physical energy. And, while it is okay to care for your children’s every need while they are very young, it is also important that they establish independence as early as possible so that they can carry out at least half of their given tasks. You may feel guilty at first for drawing some boundaries, but it is also good to not cater to the needs of your family members around the clock. It will then give you the necessary time to protect your overall well-being.

4. Bond with the community

Sometimes, as a mother with so many responsibilities, you will feel alone. One of the best things you can do is bond with the community, such as by joining a moms’ support group or an online community for moms that can be found on Facebook or Instagram. It will create a feeling of being related to, and remind you that you are not alone on this journey of motherhood. Not only that, you will also be able to share your lived experiences as a mother while gaining valuable insights from other mothers, particularly on how they navigated life’s challenges with effective coping techniques.

5. Ask for help from family and friends

When you need help, don’t be scared to ask for it from family and friends; it’s not a sign of weakness. We all become overloaded with various tasks in life, especially as mothers, therefore it is perfectly acceptable. So, make sure that you ask for the help of your partner, other family members, or friends so that you can relieve some of your duties and take some time for yourself.

6. Know that you won’t be perfect

Above all, let go of the idea that you have to be the perfect mother. This is because such thoughts can cause extra stress for yourself. Instead, accept yourself as you are, and work towards improving any shortcomings you may have. What is more important is to be attentive to your parenting strategies and to cherish those precious times with your children whenever possible.

Concluding thoughts…

Now you understand that motherhood is a new experience that can have an impact on one’s identity, particularly for first-time mothers. And while being selfless is great, it’s important to remember that connecting with yourself during motherhood isn’t selfish – it’s beneficial to both you and your child.

For example, taking time to care for yourself means you will be able to better manage the mental, emotional, and physical demands of motherhood while also being more attentive to your children’s needs. In this way, you can teach your children healthy coping mechanisms to manage the challenges that come their way. After all, children usually learn by observing others!

Furthermore, when children see their mothers valuing their own interests, they learn about the importance of self-worth. Therefore, they will understand that it is possible to go after what they love and connect with their inner self while also fulfilling their responsibilities.

So, let us embrace the exciting journey of motherhood by reconnecting with ourselves a little more and creating a balance between caring for our children – both on Mother’s Day and every day thereafter!

Written by: Pansiluni Weerawansa

Photo by the National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

Alcohol addiction is a complex and pervasive issue that not only affects the individual struggling with it, but also reverberates throughout their circle of loved ones. As those close to someone with alcohol addiction witness the gradual erosion of their physical and mental well-being, as well as the strain it places on relationships, they often find themselves grappling with their own emotions and uncertainties. In navigating this challenging terrain, it becomes crucial for loved ones to not only support the individual seeking recovery, but also priorities their own well-being. This article aims to explore the multifaceted impacts of alcohol addiction on loved ones, delve into the mental aspects involved, and offer guidance on fostering healing for both the individual and their support network.

The emotional rollercoaster induced by alcohol addiction is no picnic. Picture this: you’ve got this vivacious, beloved individual in your life, and out of the blue they’re caught in the web of addiction. Suddenly, you’re riding a wild wave of emotions – sadness, anger, guilt, helplessness – you name it, you’re feeling it. It’s like trying to navigate through a maze blindfolded. You’re there, trying to understand and support your loved one, but every twist and turn of their addiction leaves you feeling like you’re on shaky ground. And let’s not forget the constant anxiety and tension that comes with the territory. It’s like living in a perpetual state of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Dealing with alcohol addiction is a real emotional rollercoaster ride, and sometimes, you just want to get off.

Diving into the wild world of alcohol addiction – it’s not just a matter of personal choice or sheer willpower, but a tangled web of biological, psychological, and social influences. While we throw around terms like alcohol use disorder (AUD) in clinical settings, let’s remember it’s more than just a fancy label. It’s a real-life experience that shakes individuals and their loved ones to the core.

As an example, picture your vibrant, beloved friend or family member suddenly caught in the claws of addiction. It’s like watching a drama unfold right before your eyes. Emotions run wild – from heart-wrenching sadness to fiery anger; from guilt trips to feeling downright helpless. You’re on a rollercoaster ride of empathy and frustration as you try to support them through it all. And let’s not forget the unsettled suspense of not knowing what’s going to happen next. The unpredictability and instability of alcohol addiction keep everyone on edge, adding layers of anxiety and tension to relationships.

Alcohol addiction throws a wrench into the gears of family dynamics and social connections. Suddenly, you’re dealing with breakdowns in communication, heated arguments, and heartbreaking betrayals. Trust flies out the window, leaving everyone feeling isolated and disconnected. It’s like trying to navigate a stormy sea without a compass, not knowing which way to turn or how to offer support without making things worse.

In the midst of the storm, however, there’s a glimmer of hope shining through the clouds. Loved ones, far from being mere bystanders in this tumultuous saga, possess the potential to emerge as silent heroes, guiding the individual through the shadowy forest of addiction. It’s a journey that begins with setting firm ground rules –  boundaries designed not only to safeguard your own well-being, but also to gently steer the individual grappling with addiction towards a path of accountability and recovery.

Honest and open conversation can go a long way. They’re not just dialogue; they’re transformative tools capable of creating a sanctuary for healing and growth. By combining empathy and understanding with clear, unwavering boundaries, you establish a safe space where both you and your loved one can navigate the complexities of addiction with courage and resilience.

Yet, supporting someone through addiction isn’t a solo expedition. Just as a tree relies on its roots for strength, loved ones must prioritise their own self-care to weather the storm. Whether it’s seeking solace in therapy sessions, finding camaraderie in support groups, or indulging in soul-soothing activities like yoga or painting, self-care becomes the anchor that keeps you grounded amidst the turbulence. After all, nurturing your own well-being isn’t selfish–  it’s essential for maintaining the strength and resilience needed to support your loved one through their journey to recovery.

Recovery isn’t a straight line. There are bound to be twists, turns, and maybe even a few detours along the way. But instead of seeing relapse as a defeat, see it as a temporary setback on the road to long-term sobriety. With unwavering love and support, both individuals and their loved ones can weather the storm and emerge stronger on the other side.

Written by: Zafra Aswar Ali  

To become a parent, one must be prepared to face a series of challenges specifically that relate to their children because of many significant life events associated with them. Out of such life events, one of the major events that occur within a family and has an impact on parents is when their adult children decide to leave the family home for various reasons. In this article, we will explore what is empty nest syndrome, the reasons for its occurrence, and how parents can cope with it. 

What is Empty Nest Syndrome? 

Empty nest syndrome can be defined as an emotional and psychological condition that parents or caregivers undergo when their children move out of home to pursue higher education, work, or start a new life. This can lead to feelings of sadness and loss of purpose which is often overlooked due to this event being viewed as normal. Even though empty nest syndrome is not a clinical condition listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition (DSM-5), according to research, this syndrome can result in mental health problems like anxiety and depression. 

It is also noteworthy that some parents are more susceptible to empty nest syndrome than others, especially single parents and parents who struggle in their marital life. So, not all parents undergo this experience. In addition, mothers tend to be more affected by empty nest syndrome comparatively because of the role they play as primary caregivers in most families. 

Most of the time, empty nest syndrome takes place concurrently with other significant or difficult life events such as retirement, menopause, death of a spouse, or other challenges. During such situations, empty nest syndrome can last for years, but typically most parents adjust to being empty nesters within 2 to 3 months. 

The Three Stages of Empty Nest Syndrome 

1. Grief – As soon as the child leaves home, parents initially experience a sense of sadness and loss making them easily emotionally triggered and staying away from the usual activities. 

2. Relief/Emptiness – After a few months have passed by parents would either feel relieved as they now have some time to spend by themselves, or they may feel empty. 

3. Joy/Fear and Worry – The final stage also varies from parent to parent. Some of them would feel joyful for having fulfilled their responsibilities as parents and feel settled with a new way of life, whereas others would not only feel hopeless about their future lives but also continuously worry about their children’s lives as well. 

Common Symptoms/Emotional Experiences 

Based on the stages of empty nest syndrome, the symptoms are not necessarily negative as some empty nesters may be excited about a new life ahead. Let us look at some commonly noticeable symptoms connected to empty nest syndrome. 

1. Loneliness 

Empty nesters often feel lonely and isolated. They may tend to reduce their social interactions and often get caught up in nostalgia. 

2. Restlessness 

This is another common symptom of empty nest syndrome. Parents may be unable to focus on their work like before and would frequently worry and be anxious about what their children are doing. 

3. Languishing 

Empty nesters can feel low sometimes. They may lack the motivation and energy to do their work and would be preoccupied with thoughts about their children. 

4. Emotional Distress 

Parents experiencing empty nest syndrome would find themselves going through a roller coaster of emotions. They are either sad about the absence of their children at home or happy about a newfound freedom. 

5. Identity Shift 

When children move out of home, parents no longer identify themselves as individuals who play the role of parents and struggle to adapt to a new stage in their lives. This may lead to a loss of purpose, particularly among stay-at-home parents. 

6. Reevaluating Roles and Relationships 

With a shift in identity, parents get an opportunity to reevaluate their roles and relationships as they do not have to engage in parenting daily. Additionally, they also get to rediscover their interests and make this new phase a positive experience. 

How to Deal with Empty Nest Syndrome? 

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions 

It is completely normal to feel sad and lonely. It is important that these feelings are accepted without hesitation. 

2. Embrace The Change 

Take this as an opportunity to rediscover your interests and find more time for self-care. Invest more time in enhancing your personal growth which you could not engage in during the parenting phase. 

3. Reconnect with Your Partner 

When your children are no longer present at home, you can spend more time with your spouse and increase the bonding in your relationship. Research also suggests that 63% of empty nesters became closer to their partners after the leaving of their children. 

4. Build Social Connections 

Parenthood undoubtedly minimises social connections in most cases due to the minimum time parents have even for themselves. As an empty nester, you can utilise your free time to connect with your friends again. This will potentially reduce the feeling of loneliness. 

5. Keep in Touch with Your Children 

Due to the existing technology, it is easy to connect with anyone in any part of the world. So, although you become an empty nester, make use of the technology and maintain communication with your children wherever they are through chats and audio or video calls or even visit them if possible. This way, you can feel less lonely and still express your love and affection despite the distance. 

6. Get Professional Assistance 

Sometimes engaging in coping techniques to alleviate the negative symptoms associated with empty nest syndrome may not be sufficient. In that case, do not hesitate to seek support from a professional counsellor to manage your emotions via suitable therapies. 

Conclusion 

Children leaving the home to build their lives can be certainly overwhelming for parents and can lead to empty nest syndrome as it is a new life transition that parents may go through. It is however imperative to understand the symptoms linked with this empty nest syndrome as well as take it as an opportunity to overcome the challenges and work on self-growth with professional assistance if required. 

Written by: Thrishala Gunathunga 

Have you seen how sometimes adults struggle to recognize signs of mental health challenges related to children and adolescents? 

There are a few reasons for this, like not having enough knowledge about what a “mental health issue” is. Sometimes, we even normalize problematic behaviours, thinking they’re just a part of growing up. And let’s not forget the hesitation to talk openly about mental health, especially when it involves adolescents. 

But the truth is, early intervention can help children develop effective coping skills and improve their overall quality of life. So, in this article, we will explore physical, behavioural and emotional signs of mental health challenges in children and adolescents. 

Physical Signs: 

• Frequent complaints such as headaches, stomach aches, fatigue, or body pain without a clear medical cause can be a window to how they are expressing the emotional discomfort, or it can be somatic symptoms associated with depression or anxiety. 
• Changes in sleeping patterns, such as excessive sleepiness in the daytime or trouble sleeping at night, can indicate symptoms associated with anxiety, mood disorders, or depression. 
• Sudden weight changes, such as losing weight due to poor appetite or gaining weight due to excessive snacking, can indicate symptoms associated with depression, eating disorders, or other mental health issues. 

Behavioural Signs: 

• Longer periods of sadness, being irritable most of the time, and noticeable mood changes can be symptoms associated with depression, anxiety, or other mood disorders. 
• Withdrawing from friends, and family, and not being interested in the activities they once used to enjoy can be symptoms of depression, social anxiety, childhood trauma, or other mental health-related issues. 
• Difficulty maintaining friendships at school or having little social interactions than developmentally appropriate can be symptoms of communication difficulties, social anxiety, childhood trauma, or bullying. 
• Frequent conflicts with parents, teachers, and friends can be symptoms of emotion regulation difficulties or stress. 
• Excessive worry about academics, social relationships, and even about simple day-to-day activities to the point that it interferes with normal functioning can be a symptom of anxiety or stress. 
• Difficulty concentrating on studies and having a significant decline in cognitive performance (especially related to language) can be symptoms of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, learning disability, anxiety, or other mental health challenges. 

Emotional Signs: 

• Intense feelings of worthlessness, guilt, and sadness can be symptoms of depression, low self-esteem, and childhood trauma. 
• Unusual fear with anxiety attacks to the point that it interrupts daily functioning can be a symptom of anxiety disorder, childhood trauma, and bullying. 
• Regular anger outbursts and unmanageable aggressive behaviour might be signs of conduct disorders, attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), bipolar disorder, or other emotional distress. 
• Being overly sensitive to criticism can be a symptom of anxiety, low self-esteem, socialization issues, or other emotional distress. 
• Having suicidal thoughts or self-harming behaviours can be a symptom of intense emotional distress. Such signs should be taken seriously, and it is important to seek immediate professional help. 

In conclusion, recognising the signs of mental health challenges among children and adolescents is essential in the long run. So, what can you do about it? 

• You should first let the children and adolescents know you are there for them. 
• Create a safe environment that empowers and comforts them, which will create the basis for them to talk to you about anything. 
• Encouraging the pursuit of creative outlets, such as drawing, writing, music, or painting, is also a great way to express and cope with difficult emotions. 
• Raising awareness about the importance of a good lifestyle with a balanced diet, good sleeping routines, and physical exercise also works! 

However, if you feel your child is experiencing mental health challenges, speak with a mental health professional who specialises in working with children. This is because only mental health professionals can make an appropriate diagnosis and the necessary recommendations. 

And keep in mind that it is okay to look out for the above signs. But don’t jump to conclusions on your own. After all, one size does not fit all. What we can do is be compassionate and provide a safe space for children and adolescents to communicate their true feelings.