Importance of Self-Compassion 

Written by: Thrishala Gunathunga

Photo by Halayalex on Freepik

Can you imagine giving yourself the same love and care as you would a close friend in a difficult scenario? This is the key concept behind self-compassion – an effective approach that promotes good mental and physical health.

Therefore, today we will discuss the importance of self-compassion, how to develop it, and the benefits of having it in our daily lives.

What is self-compassion?

Let’s take a look at Dr. Kristin Neff’s definition of self-compassion. She is an associate professor in the Department of Educational Psychology at The University of Texas in Austin, as well as the author of the best-selling book Self-Compassion.

According to Dr. Kristin Neff, self-compassion has three main parts:

1. Self-kindness

2. Common humanity

3. Mindfulness

Self-kindness is about treating yourself with kindness and empathy. With time, you will understand that inner comfort is more important than self-blame when improving your physical and mental well-being.

Furthermore, understanding that having imperfections is a part of the human experience is what defines common humanity. It is important to know that you are not alone on your life journey.

Lastly, mindfulness is being present in the moment. Instead of dismissing or magnifying your negative thoughts and feelings, you should maintain an even awareness of them.

How do you develop self-compassion?

·       Practising mindfulness daily

As previously said, mindfulness is an important component of self-compassion. Mindfulness helps us become more aware of how we feel and think. Techniques such as mindful breathing, mindful body scans, and simple meditation can help us stay present while developing compassion for ourselves.

·       Engaging in positive self-talk

You can also develop self-compassion by engaging in positive self-talk. When something goes wrong, we are more inclined to blame ourselves first. But instead, how about we change our perspective? What if we think about how we would react to a best friend in such a situation? This simple yet effective practice can work wonders, so try it the next time you engage in self-criticising behaviours.

·       Journaling

Keep a journal to record your life experiences in an understanding and compassionate way. If you have never tried journaling before, start by thinking about a challenging situation you just experienced. Write about how you handled it, and how you could handle it with more self-compassion in the future.

·       Try compassionate letter-writing

You can also write a compassionate letter to yourself. Assume your best friend is sending it to you, allowing you to tell them about your problems. Then offer kind words of support in the same way that your friend would.

·       Embracing your imperfections and flaws

Rather than trying to be 100% perfect in everything, it is important to hug our imperfections and flaws too. This will allow you to be more forgiving of your past mistakes, appreciate your personal growth, establish intrinsic self-worth, and be kinder to yourself.

·       Being grateful

Being grateful for the things in your life is another method for developing self-compassion. We often get caught up in the negatives that life throws at us, but it is also important to concentrate on the positives each day! For example, you can keep a journal and write three things you’re grateful for every day.

·       Keeping boundaries where necessary

As social beings, we frequently put others first over ourselves, even if it means sacrificing our mental and physical health. Therefore, keeping boundaries when necessary, particularly by saying no to things that drain all of your energy, is another way to develop self-compassion. It helps you to focus more on yourself and understand your own needs and desires.

What are the benefits of developing self-compassion?

·       Improved mental health

Multiple studies have shown that practising self-compassion helps people minimise their feelings of hopelessness and anxiety. Furthermore, it reduces the likelihood of suicidal ideation. This is because the more compassion you have for yourself, the less likely you are to be self-critical, and you are also more likely to look forward to the future rather than concentrate on current problems.

·       Having satisfying relationships

People who practise self-compassion are likely to have more satisfying relationships. When we are kind to ourselves, we are less likely to seek approval from others or engage in harmful relationship patterns such as being with an abusive partner or engaging in risky sexual behaviours. This allows for more authentic relationships based on kindness and respect for one another.

·       Increased life satisfaction

We are more likely to have increased life satisfaction if we practise compassion for ourselves. This is because self-compassionate people tend to focus on the present moment and appreciate what they have accomplished, no matter how big or small it is. Even when they have terrible experiences, they try to learn from them rather than getting locked in the same loop of negative thinking.

·       Improved physical health

Self-compassion has been related to reduced stress and inflammation, as well as a lower risk of getting physical health problems such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes. This is because when we are kind to ourselves, we are not trapped in a constant state of stress; instead, we recognise that having flaws is a natural part of the human experience.

Conclusion

Mindfulness, positive self-talk, journaling, and other practices can help us create a more understanding connection with ourselves, leading to higher self-compassion. Therefore, try being compassionate with yourself today and see how it positively impacts your life in no time!